Mentors: Mentor vs. Tutor
tu-tor noun.
1. A private instructor. One that gives additional, special, or remedial instruction.
men-tor noun.
1. A wise and trusted counselor. A person who advises another: counselor, adviser, consultant, master. Someone who shows the way: leader.
Your time at Hawthorne will be, for the most part, time spent building a trusting relationship with your student by seeing them regularly and working with them on school assignments. During the years following your Hawthorne experience, spending time with your student will be more focused in a different direction—that of a mentor. A mentor is someone who establishes a positive long-term relationship of mutual trust and respect, has regular interaction with their student that is both consistent and fun, allows conversations about everything in their student’s life, and encourages their student to think beyond their small world to a wonder of possibilities. Our goal is to help boys and girls become responsible young men and women who will expand their horizons with the guidance of a caring mentor—helping them to develop DREAMS and seeing them become a reality through their hard WORK.
Grades are very important and the students are required to maintain a 2.0 grade point average in core subjects. Please encourage your student to do his/her best academically.
Effective mentoring begins with active listening. People communicate in many different ways—speech, body language, eye contact. Listening to the whole person is important.
During the middle school years and beyond, young people deal with many issues. You may find it challenging at times to get them to talk and when they do it may be difficult to deal with what they are telling you without being judgmental or embarrassed. Remaining nonjudgmental is important.
Mentoring Ideas:
Discuss confidentiality and make sure your student knows that everything he or she tells you is confidential—except when someone is in danger.
Talk and listen. Ask open-ended questions.
Act as an advocate, “coach,” and role model.
Ask the DreamsWorker to tell you about him or herself. Let the student do the talking and be sure to remain nonjudgmental. Tell the student about your own life, remembering to share only information that you’re comfortable with and that will benefit him or her. Sharing things can help the student open up to you, see that you have experiences in common, and allow him or her to feel safe in confiding to you. Always be honest.
Help your student to develop or begin to develop life skills (social skills, manners, telephone etiquette, assuming responsibility, ethical awareness, etc.).
Work with your student to accomplish specific goals—both short-term and long-term—such as improved grades, time management, school attendance, self-esteem, and confidence. Set goals and write a plan for obtaining them—monitor progress frequently.
Instill the framework for developing broader life-management skills (decision-making, goal setting, conflict resolution, money management, etc.).
Increase your student's ability to interact with people from various backgrounds (cultural, racial, socioeconomic, etc.). Respecting differences can be challenging-and rewarding-when you begin to understand others.
Discuss differences in behavior, attitude, and style of dress.
Read together—try many different things—comic books, magazines, cook books, encyclopedias, The Seven Habits of Highly Effective Teens, newspapers for current events or sports, schoolwork, etc.
Introduce your student to different environments (i.e., workplace versus school setting).
Identify three careers in which the student may be interested. Explore them on the internet or through books. Arrange for job shadowing after school, on a day off from school, or on the weekend.
Do cross word puzzles/brain teasers/sudoku puzzles.
Do an arts and craft project. Make a holiday card. Teach your student to knit.
Write together—try writing a short story. Write a letter or a thank you note.
Make an imaginary budget. (There are websites that can help with this one, ex: life.familyeducation.com/finances-and-money.)
Plan a trip using a map.
Help the student define: Integrity, Honesty, Character, Honor, Respect, Responsibility, Tolerance, Compassion, and Courage. Then identify people they know who have the characteristic and what it is about that person they like/dislike and why.
